BoySlut

THIS CAVE

This cave
I live in
groping

my belongings
scattered
on my bed
under and around
body blast

mirror watching
blinking
invisible
dust in flutters of air

night
peeking in
toothless
window

spy lights
on my vitals
awakening

I let them
for a quick thrill

having nothing
but the moment
before annihilation

staggering
for the wall
smeared with her shadow
screaming again

rolling
my stone door
out of the way

outside
breathing in
caves by the billions

her bloody footprints
disappearing
on the hard stones of today.

LOOKING UP

I don’t believe
there’s nothing to believe in

a night walk
looking up
dresses of stars

slapping
my cold face
numb

standing still
for the light

wanting to ride it
over the horizon

other side
no trouble
with the boy I use to be.