BoySlut

 
All the boners had boners
Every boner was filling a hole
Every hole had holes
and the boners found them all
Time had no beginning
and death didn’t mean shit

 
The boner of existence fucked
the black hole of nothing
and everything was born again
Everyone had another round
Whiskey made them smarter,
cigarettes helped them breathe
Lovers were always satisfied
and never had reason to leave

 
ON THE WAY OUT OF THE SUPERMARKET

 
On the way out of the supermarket
A pretty little thing
Let the door slam in my face
And my groceries

 
she became ugly
Like me

 
She was ruining
The world
Like me

 
I just wanted to fuck her
In the stock room
While ordering her to hold
The door next time

 

But I picked up the groceries
And went home
And made eggs
Only two were broken

 
HURTS TO GO HOME III

 
You think you learn
To leave them alone
Push in a finger
They swallow your arm
Watching their hands
Wanting their hips
Pulling out twenties

And sinking the ship
The night aches on
’til you wobble alone
down the wet streets at dawn
to a wreck of a home

 
I meant what I meant

Not sure what I said
Into sleep, hard
To dream of the dead
The years and the people
From their hands to their tits
To miss them a little
And then look at this
Broken chairs at the curb
Chicken bones in the hall
You’ll come around hard
If you come ’round at all

 
HURTS TO GO HOME II

 
Tired of being the gentle, loyal one
The one who stroked
the back of your head
and loved you to death

Remembered anniversaries
Picked you up from work
Took you home to meet the family
Strained himself on elaborate gestures
Collapsed when you’d been unfaithful

Tired of chasing
Patching leaks
Keeping it all afloat

 
So I didn’t do it anymore

 
I became a carnivore
The one you cheated on the other fucker for

 
Shut you up
Wore you down
Smacked your
slutty mouth
’til you came
Then disappeared

 
Ate your food
Borrowed your money
Listened to you whimper with gratitude

 
I burned like a pile of leaves
Felt the vertigo of life in the fatty curve of your hips
Had to make you want it all so bad
you’d risk everything

 
It went on in that way
with a few
for years

 

The man in me
a bullshit lacquer of indifference
A cemetery of revenge

 
It’s hell to apologize

To forgive
To admit you want someone
to love you
Someone to take care of
Look out for

 
Revenge has its place
Not in love
Be strong enough to take the risk
And strong enough to watch it die