I dreamt I had a mind.
But I was mostly a haunted camera
with a cock controlling the shutter.
I fucked the way kids put pennies
on the railroad tracks–to see
what funny shape I would end up.
I told people I was in the business
of customizing assholes for assholes.
Alcoholics masturbate stupid jokes.
One day, I realized even the dream police
had evacuated, following all my friends
into discreet silence, shy diseases or death.
I try to pretend my life’s wreckage is sculpture.
I want INSOMNIA to be my epitaph,
since some fucked-up parts will still be awake.
Words, the asshole junkyard dog of me.
DEAD ASS CLOWN
You gave me the “Dead Ass Clown” speech.
You asked if I wanted to be only that,
A dead ass clown, joke, bar anecdote.
“I know how the dead worry so
about their reputations,” I said,
and you pointed to my ass clown shoes
which grew that moment like Pinocchio’s nose
because I was practicing ass clownery
while you were performing an Ass Clown Exorcism.
“It’s not like I’m Jeffrey Dahmer!”
I protested. And my nose instantly lit up red
and you said, “Only an ass clown would make fun
of the hardcore loneliness of a cannibal.”
But if I die and become a dead ass clown,
I can awake to a zombie ass clown hard-on.
I wanna do it. I wanna come back
and start pounding ass with my dead ass clown
zombie hard-on. I want my cock
to break off inside one of my victims
and scream as my head explodes
like a canteloupe with gunfire from a holy man.
Anything less, and I’d be a fucking hypocrite.
MUST LOVE DOGS
I’ve got a pit bull
He just loves ass
Would you like to meet my pit bull?
He’ll knot you for an hour
You won’t be going noplace nohow
With my pit bull’s dick up inside ya
I feed him bitches like you
My wife tried to steal him from me
She was gonna run off with him
So I shot her ass
And buried her in the backyard
His chain runs back and forth
Clanks right over her grave
That bitch’s grave
When he goes out back
To piss or take a shit on her
Here is a picture of me holding him
His name is Carnage
Isn’t that a cool name?
Doesn’t he look handsome here?
His dick has a big knot
Bitches say it feels wonderful
They say it hits the magic spot
Carnage loves Lil Wayne and bitches
Doesn’t care if they have a dick or not
He fucked a tranny once
What you mean you wanna fuck me?
What’s wrong with you?
Are you afraid of Carnage’s dick?
Did you even look at the .jpeg of his dick?
If you’re worried about scratches on your back
I have these oven mitts he wears
If you’re worried about bites or slobber
I put a muzzle on my boy
This ain’t no normal mutt
Carnage could be a porn star, I’m serious
Lots of bitches have told me that
Don’t think you’re too good for Carnage
The question is do you deserve him?
And if you’re nervous about some doggy smell
Carnage don’t have none of that
He wears only the best cologne
Carnage wears Aqua Pour Homme
Marine Cologne for Men by Bulgari
That shit’s $75 a bottle
I get it at the TJ Maxx
While Carnage waits in the truck
Carnage leaves a bitch smelling good
Only a crazy bitch wouldn’t want
To be filled up with Carnage
Lots of the best people in history
Owned pit bulls not just rappers
Did you know Helen Keller owned a pit bull?
Your nuts if you think that bitch
Didn’t make the most out of her situation
I bet that dog’s tongue knew
Helen Keller’s pussy inside-out
She called him Sir Thomas
That’s the sort of respect pit bulls deserve
Think about it
Helen Keller wasn’t a dumb bitch
She was only deaf and blind
I bet she knew the Braille
of Sir Thomas’s knotted dick
even better than she knew the Bible
Okay so it might have been a little awkward
when she thought they were alone
and they really weren’t
But who’s gonna deny a deaf and dumb girl
A little bit of fun like that