ONE POEM – CatFish McDaris

Posted: December 2, 2012 in Fiction, Poetry
Tags: , , , , , ,

Eight Rules For Defecating In Nature

 

1. Never wipe with a pine cone, porcupine,

poison ivy, or prickly pear (the 4-P’s)

 

2. Never lower your laundry near a bear or

mountain lion with an erection, a diving eagle,

a flock of turkeys or Canadian geese

 

3. Never drop a load in a snake, badger,

coyote, woodchuck, or prairie dog hole

 

4. If a skunk or rattler happens by while

you’re in the act, don’t try to compete,

compare, or make friends

 

5. Beware of hillbillies with banjos, men

in prison garb, & women with facial hair

& bulging crotches

 

6. Always use insect repellent liberally

 

7. Cover your scat

 

8. Sand rubbed gently in your crack &

rinsed will remove undesirable crustiness

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