BoySlut

Mermaids

we were going to take the boat out, sail

to the edge of the world, tease

the monsters waiting there with our

bare, dangling feet, toes tickling the ocean skin

like tiny pink fish

 

but you had to go and ruin it

chase shore-hugging mermaids instead

had to search clam-shell bikinis for pearls

find out where baby mermaids come from

 

we were going to become pirates

treasure hunters, world explorers

wrestle giant squid at the world’s edge

find the fountain of youth

 

but you had to go and spoil everything

in your search for suburban normalcy

chase dreams of apron-clad mermaids

who’d give up their kingdoms for you.

 

 

Brand New

I threw away

everything that came

before he

was in

my life so

I could pretend

that I was brand new

just like the baby

I held in

my arms, just

like the perfect

baby that somehow

came out of me

 

 

The Last Day

I hid the baby beneath the floorboards, prayed

for his quiet. I stretched out over the spot, covered his hiding place

with my body, whispered to my son through the rough timbers

don’t cry. please don’t cry.

 

footsteps rattled past the door, and I covered

my head with a pillow, my body

with a quilt. if anyone looked in through the door or the window

they’d just see a messy room. if they came into the house

they’d see me.

 

night came, and I could smell smoke seep into the house

could hear people running, screaming past the window

gunshots and heavy machinery. I pulled the sleeping baby

out of the hole in the floor, woke him to nurse

prayed for rain.