THREE POEMS – Paul Tristram

Posted: February 19, 2013 in Fiction, Poetry
Tags: , , , ,

Zero Tolerance

I even feel like sticking an axe

in your fucking shadow.

Everything about you annoys me, now.

I don’t know how it got like this but it did?

Fairytales are for children.

Tolerance is for parents

and real life is for grown-ups.

Just leave and go away

before I say something that really hurts you!


© Paul Tristram 2013



Vicious Valentine



“Well, why do you put up with her?”


“I know she can be a handful

but I’ve seen her nice side

the part of her no one gets to see,

she’s just vulnerable is all!”


“Vulnerable, she wasn’t vulnerable

when she broke your nose

and gave you that black-eye, was she.

She’s slept with half of Cardiff

and not the good half either.

How many times has she stolen your wallet?

It’s got to be well over a dozen times by now.

She threw a vodka bottle at the framed photo

of your 3 kids on the living room wall.

She’s had you arrested seven times.

Stole your mother’s shopping from the taxi rank

and sold it in the pub to your aunty.

All of her ex’s are junkies or insane or both.

She glassed your sister in the face, twice!

Took the ‘Welsh Lovespoon’ that you gave her                              

in ‘The Angel’ pub last Valentine’s day night

outside and threw it in the gutter, squatted down

and pissed all over the fucking thing

in front of everyone you know, mun.

Oh, and she bit your fucking dog?”


“But I love her, you know?”


“Yeah, and I love Pernod

but I realized that it was no good for me

and that I had to stop drinking it at age 21,

you know?”


“Ok, point taken, for fuck sake!”


© Paul Tristram 2013



You Took The Back Tyre Off The Welsh Love Spoon



You took the back tyre off the Welsh Love Spoon,

Luckily the drugs were in the dog

And the dog was really fast.

We shall always buy whippet from now on,

My bruises will heal

But long may the dog live on.

                        (We can’t catch the cunt!)



© Paul Tristram 2010

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