one. Trust Issues
I’d prefer less dependence on water; I’m shy
of commitment to things that keep me alive or
purge toxic entities who may have had the answer
to the question I’ve yet to find.
two. Elyn Saks
Empathetic to Schizophrenia—
brief sketches in the radar flicker to paranoia,
an almost understanding of something that isn’t there,
yet inexplicable to a man passing on the street,
his shoes casting loud shadows up to the doorway:
inherent to metaphysics, your hands shake,
cusping on the sensation of something observed.
three. Fixed Reality
You died but are capable
of imagining yourself a hero: retrospective texts
written the night before,
pressing into the mass of circulation,
influencing your remembrance as historians shine
the gilded calf.
four. your fascination with geology has made me—
evidence of your inadequacy surfaced
in the wrinkled striation of your unwashed laundry:
browbeaten by her repetitive questions,
eons elapsed in the span of a guilty confession:
i was carved by the rain, accidental,
then washed out with your bloodstains and dinner:
a formation, not a lover.
five. A Poem for Christopher
While writing slowly makes this legible to you,
the distraction of technical finesse is a lipid clogging
my creative ventricle. Maybe later, I’ll tell you
just what I was thinking about and how none of it
can be transcribed if I continue forming my letters neatly.
six. To the Writers of Heroes—
Selfish people are unable to disappoint themselves.
seven. Gestalt Theory
My favorite people are unintentional eccentrics;
my least are those who feign it,
a lightbulb bursting in the straight firing line.
Speaking my inner dialect to unintimate strangers,
my nervous gestures escape alongside the unflattering
bouts of staring: a ticking interloper, suspicious character,
unable to wrap my tongue around the manners I’ve learned
with unintuitive stress, craving withdraw without my ego in place
to politely combat this unwanted attention.
Tragedy’s more compelling—
Writers try racing toward death because
youth’s easier to romanticize,
the technical explanation of the antihero:
a disregard for longevity is the basis
of any decent literature.