Posts Tagged ‘John Dervishian’

in the psychaitrist waiting room

the place is furnished
with red velvet couches
magazines of every sort
and many plants
to create a soothing

but as usual
my psychiatrist is late
he consistently
arrives 1/2 hour
to an hour late

im on medication
for anxiety
and he creates
anxiety for me

i’m sitting
with this broad
who is also
waiting for him

i watch her as
she strips a page
from a magazine
she explains that
it is a recipe for a
fruit arrangement
i tell her

” i don’t care”

i learn that she
is getting a second job
to supplement her
full time job
as she is behind
on bills

she plays bass guitar
sings in a band
likes tattoos
has earned $104
in royalties from
a song that
Steven Van Zandt
played on his radio show

she used $100
to give to her landlord

“$100 is better than nothing ”
she says

she owns rats
and hedgehogs
she complains
that the hedgehogs
were sweet as babies
but now have attitudes
and try to bite her

“really, i would have thought
they would make great pets”

i then suggest

“maybe get rid of
the rats and hedgehogs
and you might have
more cash”

she continues to
reveal that she has
a strained relationship
with her mother
that her therapist
recently set her free
and that she has only
had a few minor
breakdowns since

she ran out of meds
and is here to get samples
as money is tight

the psychiatrist arrives
and hands her a
brown paper bag
i hand her my
book mark

she extends an invite
to the bar
i wave her off
walk upstairs
and tell the

“I’m fine now”





You can get me a drink

but I’m not fucking you

I’m in a relationship

and I’m quite happy


“that’s fine”, I say


I mean you’re a nice guy

and all


“yeah I know. Another?” I say


no, I can get silly, I really shouldn’t


“well then, I will have yours”


I can’t believe I did this

I wanted to, but I really can’t stay


“that’s fine”, I say


holy shit, what time is it

I need to go

this can never happen

again and I’m not calling



“I know”, I say


I washed my sheets

threw out the numbers she

left on a napkin

and changed my number

to help her feel better

about any future decisions she might make




i was around 10-11

when they married

lucky for me I was the best man

what an opportunity

for a young kid


a best man in my

step brother’s wedding

I guess what does

that say about him

but who cares


didn’t have a

fancy bachelor party

or anything but I’m pretty sure

we looked at porn

that seems like a party

to an 11 year old



there I stood

proud in my Woolworth suit

smiling but not understanding

what the fuck was going


a few party goers

6 or so including myself,

my sister

my stepbrother

and my mother

some cake

and alcohol


years passed

and I’m still


but I adapted


14 years after the wedding itself

I finally asked my mother

why she married her

husband’s son