Posts Tagged ‘Poems about Relationships’

A Bag Of Puckering Arseholes

“Oi!, if you bang on that front door
one more sodding time.
I’m throwing down this half-full
pot of piss onto the lot of ya.
I told you that as soon as the last kid
left home so would you be.
Now it’s been 3 months
get over it and move on already.
I’d call the Heddlu
but I’m not threatened in the slightest,
more irritated like.
It’s half past midnight for Christ Sake!
and you’ve brought
your 3 divorced friends ‘round
from The Lamb & Flag
with you for moral support.
Aww, my heart pumps piss for ya,
they couldn’t save
their own cowing marriages.
I’ll be Damned
if they’ll be doing owt for yours.
Now, fuck off and take ‘em
bag of puckering arsehole mates with ya
before I let the new dog out, ya useless cunt!”

© Paul Tristram 2016


Contemptible You

You tattooed
my affections
with all the
of a meth addicted sadist
with daddy issues & a jackhammer

your ink
a mixture
of nightshade & cyanide
seeped from your lips
& into my pores
in [toxic] ating me…..

nicotine scented swirls
& ethanol procured smiles
lead to ecstasy induced spasms

little deaths
of my soul



I hadn’t thought of her

in a very long time


she probably hasn’t

thought of me

in a very long time


I can’t think why

she would think of me

for I hurt her terribly;

I’ve long since forgiven


for the teenage

asshole I was

but I still carry this

with me today


I hope that she doesn’t


that I’m as good as dead

as far as her

memory is concerned;

I deserve to be.




Even Ciarin Has Women Troubles

‘I passed up a sure thing.
This amazing girl,
recently split,
all she wanted was vindication
through casual sex.
She sat on my lap
and asked a passing random
to join us.

‘This close.
I was this close.

‘Then this girl,
this girl,
this other girl,
the other girl,
this raven haired Irish beauty,
the girl I have no chance with,

‘nineteen. Nineteen.

‘But it’s her personality
or the fact I can’t have her

or because… because…

‘Because, she’s like the best person to take to the theatre,
she’ll laugh at what she wants, you know,
with this really loud, distinctive laugh,
that most people, if they had this laugh,
they’d keep it shelved, no?
She doesn’t hide it,
this obnoxious laugh.
‘She came from nowhere
and then she’s there,
she’s suddenly there
by the stairs

‘And I’m this close, this close

‘and she gives me this look
and that look says,
And I’m undone.
‘Cause in my head that look’s got a sequel,
it says, “Go home with me.”

‘This close,
This close. I was this close
to a threesome.’

Then we did Special K
and his face came up like woodchip wallpaper.