BoySlut

Love.
I knew i was in love when sleeping
On your floor 
Was better then sleeping 
In my own bed

I knew i was in love when staying in your arms
Was all i wanted 
and was better then every other place on earth

I knew i was in love when I cried into coffee cups
and kept drinking anyway, 
slept nearly 20 hours a day 
Since last Friday

I held onto the hope of you
tighter than my own sanity

I have felt
pathetic
and wrong
and amazed

I knew i was in love when at nights 
I wish that with my last breath
I’ll exhale  my love for you
And i desperately hoped
It was a cold night
So you could see what you meant to me

I knew i was in love when we were staying 
Together in bed and i wrote
‘ Please don’t leave me ‘ 
With my fingertips on your skin

I knew i was in love when i decided to let you go and I’m happy
That’s the perfect end for a piece of shit  story like this

And now i think i might brutally murder the next person
Who says they love me and leaves

I knew i was in love when you looked at me
In the middle of the night
Rain pouring on our faces, phones constantly ringing 
with pity somehow and said
‘ listen, i have to go, i don’t know what to say ‘ 
And i tiredly answered ‘ Don’t worry i know what we are
And i know what we are not ‘

I knew, i just knew that i wanted it to much 
And you didn’t want it enough 
A basic imbalance

My mom told me once 
‘ stop setting yourself of fire for someone 
Whostays there and watches you burn ‘
I guess mom was right

I knew i was in love when i realised i used to shake 
At the single thought of you loving someone else